What I've learned as a teacher that I wish I'd known as a parent

When I started teaching, I definitely

felt a bit like Dorothy looking behind the curtain. What I saw there made me realize that I'd missed some opportunities to improve my own kids' experience at school.

As an author, I use my teaching life to relate to MJ, my main character in the "On the Sound Series," but today, I want to share some real-life tips that I hope will help you be well-informed and more savvy when dealing with your children or the schools they attend.

Number One -- Kids will lie.

I know. No one wants to believe it, but it's true. I came to this realization the first time a parent emailed me with concern over her child's missing work in social studies. I let the parent know we do most assignments in class so I can monitor students and help when they are stuck. However, work not finished at school should be finished at home. This parent said that her child could not complete the work at home because the teacher did not allow students to bring the textbook home.

Have you ever heard this from your child? I have. I flashed back to my kid giving me this same excuse for not completing the work. I instantly repented for thinking his teacher only lived to torture children (a bit of an exaggeration, sort of).

And nowadays, your child can most likely also access textbooks online.

So, if it seems like a teacher is expecting something unreasonable, then ask. Your kids don't want to lose your good opinion, so sometimes they will just blame the person they think (or know) you will never talk to. The teacher. And that leads me to my next tip.

Number Two -- Teachers are not your enemy.

There has been a lot in the news lately that pits parents and teachers against each other. But I am here to tell you that if there are policies you dislike at your child's school or district, the teachers probably dislike them too.

Sure, there are outliers, teachers that you have to scratch your head and wonder who in their right mind thought that would be a good hire. Others take advantage of their influence on their students to promote things that don't belong in the classroom. And then there are the few that get led away in handcuffs because they've done really despicable things.

Those exist. Your average teacher, however, is working hard to meet the needs of an increasingly varied range of skill levels among his or her students. (This could be a whole post by itself!)

Look at your child's teacher as a partner. Reach out and share things that might help your child be successful. Encourage the teacher to share what is going well at school so you can implement it at home. When your child comes home, all excited to tell you about an assignment, drop the teacher a quick email and let them know. It provides a boost to know students and parents appreciate the planning and preparation, and it lets us know what is making your child excited about school.

Number Three -- Red Flag Time. If your child knows way too much about his or her teacher's personal life, consider asking for a new teacher.

This comes directly from personal experience as a parent, and it comes from my experience as a teacher and knowing how much time I DON'T have to tell my life stories.

My daughter came home from one such class knowing way too much about her teacher's weekend, the concerts she went to, her pets, and other life adventures. Unfortunately, my husband and I did not act as we should have, and my daughter wasted a year in middle school learning more about her teacher than she did about math.

That teacher wasn't doing anything nefarious like grooming kids. I am not suggesting that at all, but she did not teach math bell to bell, and a lot of kids lost out on an important learning opportunity. Administrators eventually caught on, and a couple of years later, that teacher had moved on.

Stories are a great teaching tool, and I know some teachers who use them to great effect. But those stories are ALWAYS related to the content. That doesn't mean teachers can never share a personal experience or something exciting in their lives, but a teacher who is OVER sharing is most likely UNDER teaching.

Number Four -- Check Grades.

Most schools have a grade book system that parents and students can access 24/7. Do it. Not 24/7, that might be overkill, but frequently.

We did this one pretty well with our kids, but too often parents don't realize their child is failing until it's already midterm or the end of the quarter. Some teachers might be really communicative about grades and send out progress reports weekly or monthly, but don't rely on that when you have access yourself.

This isn't just to keep your child on track, but teachers are human and make mistakes. I am always grateful to the student or parent who notices something is amiss with a grade. For instance, our grading system defaults all assignments to 100 points. I rarely make anything 100 points, but sometimes I forget to change that. If an assignment was worth 10 points, and the point value in the grade book is 100, that will create havoc on students' grades.

Number Five -- Join the Booster Club

If you have time to join the Booster Club/PTA, even if you just go to meetings and don't volunteer, you will get to know other parents, teachers, and most importantly, administrators. Getting to know administrators and having them get to know you can be a game changer. You will understand what kind of person is leading your child's school and what his or her values are. I think you will find most are hard-working men and women who care a lot about kids. Having them know your face and who your kids are can also make approaching them about any issues much easier to do, if necessary.

Wrapping it up

As you get ready for a new school year, remember these tips to make it the best educational opportunity for your child as possible.

Feel free to comment if you have other important tips for parents.